Let’s be honest, pretty much everyone likes pizza, at least in some way, shape, or form. That’s why it’s such an easy date idea; for the most part, you can’t go wrong.

Some people take pizza more seriously than others. As a Chicagoan, I take pizza EXTREMELY seriously and lately, I’ve been thinking about how you can tell a lot about a person by how they order their pizza and what they like on it. Then there’s even more you can tell about how you match up with someone based on how well (or not) you can order a pizza together.

Step One: Let’s talk toppings.

Yup, we’re starting with the obvious because let’s face it: they can make or break your pie. So… what are we getting?

Cheese only (or margherita)

This person is either basic (ok, you can call them classic to be nice) or a picky eater. There’s so much more to life and pizza, I simply don’t understand them.

Any combination of meat

I’d say this is pretty normal (maybe even basic depending on the combo), I personally think meat should be the ingredient of choice, so sure I’m biased.

Pineapple and ham

This person is weird, Canadian, or both. Pineapple is a fruit and doesn’t belong on pizza.

Veggies

Maybe they’re a vegetarian? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. If they order veggies and meat, then they’re probably pretty cool and have a refined pallet.

Jalapeños

This person is crazy. Jalapeños belong on tacos, not pizza.

Obviously I’m missing a ton, but you get the point. This isn’t a BuzzFeed personality quiz.

Step Two: Can we decide on toppings together?

Ok, so you’ve discussed what you like and dislike on your pizza and hopefully you’ve come to some consensus about how weird or boring your date is. Now to determine what you BOTH want.

If y’all can find common ground, that makes things a lot easier because you have similar tastes. Yay!

If you can come to some sort of compromise (you’ll give artichokes a go but sausage is a must-have) then congrats! There’s hope for you yet.

But if y’all both have to go half-n-half or even get two separate pies because you can’t come to an agreement… yikes. I hope you have all the same life goals and values, because clearly compromising is going to be tough.

Exception: If you go half-n-half because you want to get your own thing AND try each other’s… then honestly that’s adorable and I kinda hope y’all get married.

Wait. What if they order a salad?

RUN. First of all, they shouldn’t have agreed to go out for pizza. Second, anyone who has the level of self-control it takes to get a salad at a pizza place is so impressive it’s actually terrifying. This person is probably psycho.

Uh oh… my date is gluten-free…

If your date is actually allergic or gluten intolerant, go with it and split it with them. That’s not their fault. GF food is actually pretty good these days.

Now, if they don’t actually have a bodily aversion to gluten but they’re just bougie, make them pay for it. Eye roll. That shit isn’t cheap.

Well, there you have it. It’s actually pretty easy to determine your compatibility by your pizza order.

I could dig into the New York v. Chicago Style debate, but I’ll just quit while I hopefully still have your attention and at least a little credibility. Besides, if it’s done right, all of the above is delicious.

Oh, and if you suggest a pizza date and they tell you they don’t like pizza at all, I personally would question dating them at all. They’re probably an alien because like, who doesn’t like pizza?! (That was rhetorical.)

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