When I started researching for this post, my writer’s block was real. Everything I found seemed redundant, lame, or basically just speculation. I realized that my writer’s block wasn’t a creative issue, but it was because I knew literally nothing. I mean… I’m a girl, trying to figure out what’s in a guy’s mind… by reading articles by other girls.
So, I consulted an actual dude for help because that seemed like the smart way to figure things out… and guess what? Even decent lists like Betches’ “5 Signs You’re Just a Hook Up” are over-complicating the whole situation.
According to my friend, Brian Bogart, it comes down to two things. Rather, two types of guys you’re going to date: The Communicator and The Talker. So, since that sounds super vague, he broke down some traits and things to look out for.
The Talker (aka the F*** boy)
Most guys are poor communicators, but great talkers.
- This guy starts things off with you by trying to make a case to why you should date (sleep with) him.
- He’s a try-hard who likes the game.
- He gives you basic lines like “hey how’s it going?”
- He guns hard to make immediate plans, that usually involve drinking or hanging out at his place. (*Note: Going to a bar isn’t a be-all end all… but make sure he’s open to going other places… like, IDK, dinner with you too.)
- If you’ve spent the night with him, he probably won’t take you to brunch and definitely won’t ask or care about what you’re doing later in the day.
This is the guy who actually listens.
- He’s not trying to hard-sell you on dating him.
- He’s happy with the way things are and comfortable with who he is, but still a hard worker. He probably talks about what he does and hopes to accomplish.
- He understands that if who he is and his goals catches a girl’s interest, that’s great. If it doesn’t, he’s still open and positive. He knows there are other people out there who are probably a better fit.
- He talks to you like he already knows you and probably makes a really good first impression.
The bottom line is, initiating communication in some way, shape, or form is the universal way we show interest… for both girls and guys. It’s really as simple as this: Is he making a point to see you again?
Now, if you tell me he’s been busy, remember that there is a huge difference between saying and actually trying or doing something. I mean ladies, how often do we run into a friend and say “So good to see you, we should totally have dinner next week and catch up!” knowing full well we’re not going to follow up or make plans and flake? Yeah. That’s what I thought. We make time for the people we actually care about.
Oh, and I hate to break it to you… but he can be into you and still take a while to text back. Guys are weird like that. IMO, they basically have a different language when they’re texting, and by that I mean, they actually say what they think/want… and in the most concise way possible.